Finding A Good Church Home is Like Finding a Good Pair of Shoes

Finding a good church home is like finding a good pair of shoes. Let me explain.

When Curtis & I began to look for a new church home last November, we sat down and agreed on 10 items that were important to us, with our top three being most important. They are: being taught from God's Word in sermons and other teachings, a place filled with grace-filled people who are not judgemental, who walk the talk, so to speak, and the music during worship needs to get us in the right frame of mind to worship our Lord. If we could find a church that just covered the top three, we knew we would be home. One of my dear friends from the church we were leaving told me that finding a church home would be harder to find than a new house. I laughed. Surely it couldn't be that hard, could it? I've come to realize what a wise woman she is. It is that hard; if not harder. It is very much like trying to find a good pair of shoes.

Shoes come in all kinds of sizes, styles and support. Just like churches. When looking for the right pair of shoes I like to start with a good foundation. I need a shoe that will be supportive and have the right foundation to keep my body balanced and my feet healthy. A good shoe that could be corrective of any damaged that has been done by a poor pair of shoes. This could mean a little pinching at first as the new shoe corrects my foot from poor fitting shoes of my past. Even though it hurts, this is a good thing. There are times it hurts to get back on the right track with the right shoe, but it is worth it. However, the shoe can't be too tight or ill fitting because it could cause more damage, such as blisters or corns which can be very irritating and damaging. I certainly don't want that in a shoe. Remember a poor fitting shoe caused a blister on Robert Wadlow's foot, (the Alton giant) which was the cause of his death as a young adult. A good foundation and fit is the most important part in finding the right shoe.

Just as a good foundation and fit is important to have in a pair of shoes it is also most important for a church.

Number one in our list for finding a new church home is that the church have a good foundation. In our view of the world the foundation for a church should be all the sermons and teachings to come from God's Word. We need to be fed each week from Biblical teachings. Through God's Word we learn how to live our lives, handle our resources, become people of integrity, deal with relationships, learn how to treat others in all kinds of situations, and much, much more. Anything that life has for us can be found in God's Word. Most of all we learn to know our Father better. Teachings from His Word could, should, and will pinch us, make us hurt, or be uncomfortable at first because of the correction we are getting from His Word. That's ok. Correction comes because He loves us. Teachings from His Word keeps us balanced and gives us that good foundation we need to live by. Our number one need/want is a church that will feed us spiritually and provide a good foundation for our lives as we live it.

In buying shoes, style is also important. Just as it can be in a church. Some people just have to have the latest style. These people don't really care about the substance of the shoe/church; just that it looks good, feels good and is popular. If the Jone's next door is wearing the shoe, or going to a certain church, than it is a must have and/or the place to be. Other people don't really care about the style of the shoe/church as long as they are comfortable. The shoe/church doesn't have to be the latest style or anything special, it just has to be comfortable. Same old, same old is their style. No pinching, no new styles, no change, no correction. Just something that is comfortable. They don't care to try anything new, because what they have always had is just fine. Their style is comfort. There is no thought process that goes into buying this shoe or going to this church.

For us finding the right church is similar to finding the right style in a shoe. Curtis & I have a certain style in music that appeals to us and helps us worship more fully. Praising our Father in song is very important to us. Not only by our participation but also the praise & worship music that we hear helps in getting us prepared for the Word to come. Many times we feel God speaking to us through the music. Sometimes, more so than the sermon. We love praise songs that uplift us as we sing our praises to our Father. This would include the new praise & worship music we hear on Christan radio today as well as some of the old hymns we grew up with. The style we like includes having a praise team or leader that can lead us in a range that we don't have to struggle to reach. A praise & worship team that are sharing their wonderful gifts to truly glorified God. Music that inspires everyone in their seats to sing out loud with their praises without hesitations. A place where we can go and be a part of making a joyful noise! (If you have ever sat by us while we are singing, that is what it is; a joyful noise! Praise GOD!)

Finally, in looking for new shoes to buy, I want them to look right when I wear them. I don't want my shoes to be judged for where they came from, what they look like, or where they have been. These things should not matter. I want my shoes to be accepted. Nothing is worse than wearing a pair of shoes that I feel are just right for me just to find out they are being judged harshly by others and because I am wearing them, I don't fit in. You know the feeling. It can make you feel like you're wearing clown shoes to the prom.

At some churches we have visited, we end up leaving with the feeling we were wearing clown shoes that day. The feeling we get is that we were just not accepted and did not fit in. There has been churches we have visited where for the most part, the people have made us feel unwanted, harshly judged, and unaccepted. Most people at these churches did not make an attempt to welcome us or even speak to us while we were there. Naturally, I feel it is because the sins of my past that were so highly publicized several years ago. You can see it in their faces and read it in their body language. Fortunately for us, because of this we are able to do our own "grace test" when visiting churches. It helps us weed out the churches that are filled with people who are insincere and not graced filled. There has been one church we have visited where there were people I have known for years in attendance, that would just turn their heads when our eyes met and did not acknowledge our presence. It was sad. We really liked the messages from this church and the music, however, this is a biggie. How can you go to a church to be fed when you are treated like this? Guess what the sermon series was on when we were there? Grace. Funny, huh?

Recently at another local church we visited, a woman I knew very well, saw me during the greet and meet. When our eyes met, her mouth just dropped open. She stopped in her tracks in greeting others around her and hurriedly went back to her husband to tell him I was in the congregation. He quickly turned around, craned his neck to get a good look at me and gave me a disapproving look. Oh, the warm and fuzzy feeling I got from that church that day! Funny thing was the sermon that day was also on God's grace and how we need to be more grace-filled. (Doesn't God have a great sense of humor and timing? I just love Him!) Needless to say, we didn't go back. We have visited many churches since November where we just didn't feel like we fit in. The music has been great, the sermons outstanding, but the people just made us feel like we were wearing clown shoes and we didn't fit in.

Our Lord Jesus instructs all of us to love others. Curtis & I are looking for this in a church family. A church that is sincerely accepting, loving, caring, and nurturing to all that walk through the doors. A church family where we would be accepted for the people we are today, and not be judged for where we have been or where we came from. We have found a couple of churches that fit this and it has been wonderful woshiping there. It is very important for us that we fit into a church body that is filled with grace and sincere love for all. We need and crave a church family that would be sincerely accepting of us as Christ has. One that would uplift us, encourage us, and love us through any situation. One that would welcome our involvement in helping others find out how truly amazing God's grace is. A church home that we can share our gifts of time, talents, and treasures that God has blessed us with. A church where we feel we fit in and can become a viable part of. One where even if we wore clown shoes, we would fit in and be accepted. As you can conclude from the last few paragraphs, acceptance and grace are very important to us.

Why is it so hard for us to find a church that at least has all of our top three? A good foundation, the style we like, and a church filled with accepting, grace-filled people? We don't want to compromise and not get the right fit. We have found a couple that are right up there in consideration, but should we give up the style we like for the right foundation & acceptance? Or settle for the right foundation and style, but feel like we are wearing clown shoes and not be accepted? We have found both in our search. Do we keep looking? Settle for a top two, instead of the top three? The one thing we will not settle on is the foundation. There is no settling on this one. It is just not negotiable.

We will continue to follow God's leading as He directs us to our church home. We would appreciate any prayers for us as we search and wait for the answer. If you are also looking for a church home, let me know, and we will pray for you, too. It is a journey. However it is a journey we know will reap blessings when we reach our destination, and so will you. We know that God will direct our paths and He will answer soon.

As important as it is to finding the right shoe with a good sole that fits into your life style and has a good foundation, it is extremely important in finding the right church that fits and feeds your soul here on earth that will prepare you for eternity.